I am packing up and going home….. – just cannot do this anymore

He is the author and perfector of our faith 🙏 – He will make a way, where there seems to be no way 🙌 

Okay, my friends, I think, this is it. The markers of the last months have been – I think – very clearly pointing me to pack up and go home.

You all know, I am not one who quits easily, but I think I am just done.

Just to give you a few markers: the visa I applied for got denied, because it was bridged to an application for permanent resident status, and the quota was met. Even the registration for my son in the Regional Arts Program seems to be in jeopardy, due to not having a valid visa. Now I am applying for another visa, but I truly wonder, am I even to hold on??? 

It seems as we ought to leave Canada and return to Europe. It’s somewhat even funny, that I have never done anything to be burdensome to the society or the country here, I hardly ever use OHIP – and I pay for my own life and that of my children – admittedly lately using up my credit line…..but I am serving my debt, I have been paying my taxes – here and in Europe.

Had things within the family not been so dysfunctional and been going from bad to worse when I first came here, I would never have renounced my landed immigrant status here in Canada, as I have been advised to do by the lawyer I was dealing with at the time. 

Due to all, that I believe to be true, this may be the Lord telling me: go home girl – I can live anywhere in Europe and work, and the same goes for Switzerland….. – Canada doesn’t seem to want me. 

Maybe I have to let go of my desire to stay here, close to my siblings and nieces and nephews – looking back,  the relationships that I hoped to establish with my nieces and nephews didn’t happen anyhow. Being closer to my family here, brought on even more pain to me and my children.

I still believe, that we will grow from all the pain, that God still has a plan and that his plans are still to prosper. But I am finally letting go.

Not that am going to last much longer financially anyhow. Maybe it’s time to act, and just pack up – it breaks my heart, for my children, that have lived here for the last almost 6 years of their lives, built friendships and embarked on the passion for dance.

I surrender to the plan the Lord has for me. So, unless there is a drastic change in my circumstances – I am going home.

I will still give it one last try, I am actually doing it at the moment, but this is it!!! I will not tarry anymore. Life is too precious, to waste it on a dead end path.

I will keep you posted – God bless you – I love you, 

Youschka

 

3 thoughts on “I am packing up and going home….. – just cannot do this anymore

  1. Where HE leads you will follow…..and never be disappointed for HE hold you in HIS hands and will never fail you! You are need more elsewhere. We are all just a note away! BLESSINGS!

    Liked by 1 person

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